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Maybe I Don’t Belong Here by David Harewood – chilling insight into an unravelling mind

The actor’s harrowing account of the breakdown he suffered in his 20s highlights the psychological impact of racism

In his hospital records, the esteemed actor David Harewood is described as a “large Black man”. This means that during his stay on a psychiatric ward, aged 23, he was administered diazepam (to manage anxiety) and haloperidol (used to treat schizophrenia, delirium and agitation) at four times the recommended level. “Were they afraid of me?” he asks upon reading the files that detail the breakdown he had more than 30 years ago. There’s a racist history of classifying black men as “giant” or “superhuman”. Their perceived size has long been used as a justification for brutality. Think of the 2014 murder of Michael Brown, shot dead by police officer Darren Wilson in Ferguson, Missouri. Wilson described himself as “like a five-year-old holding on to [wrestler] Hulk Hogan”.

“I’m absolutely convinced that had I been in America at the time of my breakdown, I’d most likely be dead,” writes Harewood. “It took not one or two but six police officers to hold me down. One false move by me or any of them could have ended my life.”

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from Culture | The Guardian https://ift.tt/3zvEQzc

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