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Love Island 2021: the sexual equivalent of letting tigers loose on gladiators

After a year locked in a house, contestants are preparing to be … locked in a house. Will this be the horniest summer ever?

Love Island (Monday, 9pm, ITV2) returns, then. In a way, the series needed a Glastonbury-style fallow year: let the astroturf recover from a 10-week onslaught of wedged heels, let the pool rechlorinate back to a healthy pH and, most crucially, give Britain’s potential contestants time to repopulate. After the punishing back-to-back scheduling of the June 2019 summer season and the January 2020 winter one, ITV needed time to restock its supply of Kim Kardashian-shaped pharmacists and sweet-but-slow 20-year-old boxers. There are currently 30 to 40 future Love Island stars out there, agitated with pre-flight nervous energy, doing press-ups and plucking eyebrow hairs in various secretive mid-range hotel rooms, wondering how many handjobs they are going to give or receive this summer. Nature, as they say, is healing.

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