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Top 10 books about consent

From Thomas Hardy to Kristen Roupenian, literature offers a changing map of the treacherous terrain of sexual relationships

When the floodgates of #MeToo opened in 2017, the conversation about sexual harassment and assault quickly detonated into a broader discussion of “bad dates” and “bad sex”. As pundits engaged in armchair analysis of non-consensual encounters involving celebrities, opinion split roughly down generational lines. Gens Y and Z tended to consider ignoring consent clues akin to assault. Gen X and baby boomer commentators, meanwhile, argued that women had the agency to remove themselves from uncomfortable situations and that it was infantilising to treat them as damsels in distress.

Navigating the treacherous terrain of dating in the digital era after my divorce, I found myself straddling the two camps. If I, confident in communicating my desires after 20 years of sexual experience, found articulating an outright “no” tricky at times, what of younger people just finding their feet? What deeper forces of cultural conditioning were at play? As I set out to document our shifting scripts in The Future of Seduction, these were some of the books that informed my understanding of the complexities of consent.

1. Tess of the d’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
Tess’s financial circumstances make her vulnerable to unwanted advances. Despite clearly and consistently communicating her lack of interest in her wealthy patron Alec, he persists in his pursuit, resorting to drugging and raping her. Her hopes of happiness are ruined when her new husband rejects her after she comes clean about the incident. While women in literature are no longer confined to a fate of “wed or dead”, the victim-blaming and double standard to which Tess is subjected remain all too familiar.

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