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The Great British Bake Off review – sweet relief in these trying times

From a caramel schnauzer to a blood-spattered treasure chest, here’s another scrumptious series to save us from a sugar-free life. But have we been blessed with the new Nadiya?

On your marks, get set … GET HAPPY! The Great British Bake Off – the show that brought the nation together at the exact same time everything else fell in the bin like a sabotaged baked alaska – is 10 years old. To celebrate, we get … another scrumptious series of The Great British Bake Off (Channel 4). No surprises hidden like currants in a fruit cake. No crimes or misdemeanours (not yet anyway). No boat-rocking channel switches. Just some decent folk getting in a tizzy over the height of their genoise in a Berkshire tent.

Let’s face it, reviewing Bake Off is now about as necessary as scoring your nan’s scones. Of course they’re going to be just right, you ungrateful wretch. Nevertheless, like those scones, Bake Off commands attention, praise, respect. And we show this recognition not by making ‘mmmm’ noises and saying ‘your best yet, nan’ but via the cooking up of vast amounts of column inches, manufactured scandals, and thinkpieces on what it really means when Paul Hollywood describes Michelle’s Fairy House showstopper as “faultless” yet doesn’t give her the handshake. Is it unconscious bias? Because it’s the first episode and he doesn’t want to peak too soon? Or has the handshake been overused to the point of redundancy and will now only be rolled out in the event of another bread lion?

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