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In the Line of Fire with Ross Kemp review – nothing but flashbangery

Ross Kemp’s bid to be taken seriously marches on, fuelled by testosterone and staccato sentences. This time. He’s asking. If coppers. Should carry guns

I know we’re all supposed to take Ross Kemp terribly seriously now that he has reinvented himself as an investigative journalist and presenter of Serious Documentaries but – it’s hard. It’s hard for people of my generation to put out of our minds his decade in EastEnders, having scenery moved round him while he approximated emotion by turning his tiny head red with rage and/or sorrow. The 90s were an odd time, children. We engaged in many collective delusions, the foremost being that Britannia was cool, but the secondmost being that two men who looked like they were built out of peanuts and had heads like hair bobbles were convincing hardcases. And it’s hard to forget that it was this collective delusion that made him the top choice for the documentary about the effect of gang warfare on Britain – Ross Kemp on Gangs – which won a Bafta in 2010 and set him on his new career path. It’s harder still to imagine that he – rather than his producers – finds, researches and sets up the perilous situations he, uh, investigates (via the likes of Ross Kemp in Afghanistan, Ross Kemp in Search of Pirates, Ross Kemp: Battle for the Amazon, titles written in letters of fire and testosterone) rather than being parachuted in just before the cameras start rolling.

Here we were In the Line of Fire With Ross Kemp. It followed the usual format. A weighty subject. In this case, the rise of knife and gun crime in the UK. Explained in short, staccato sentences. By our man. The big question posed. Should we. Arm our police? Ross Kemp. Follows some police. To find out. With exclusive access. To things. Periodically.

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