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Boris, this Churchill fetish isn’t your finest hour... | David Mitchell

If Johnson thinks he’s the reincarnation of the great wartime leader we should really begin to worry

What do you do if you think you’re like James Bond? You’re convinced of it. “I’m so handsome and strong and brave and ruthless and intelligent and good at sex – I’m sort of amazing,” you say to yourself. “I admit I haven’t always behaved well in relationships, but I’m so incredibly attractive that I totally get away with it and anyone whose heart I’ve broken would say that it was all completely worth it just to meet me. Plus, in a crisis, I will literally always save the day. Like the song says, ‘nobody does it better’. That 100% applies to me.”

So, if you think that about yourself, and yet no one seems to be saying you’re like James Bond, or particularly terrific in those ways at all, what do you do? I suppose it depends how like James Bond you really are. Because if you say: “Hey everyone, I’m like James Bond! Can I get a bit of credit please?!”, you’re really being very unlike James Bond. James Bond is cool and that’s not cool. James Bond would never say that.

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